The syndrome of delayed life

After all, as long as we live only in the future and what we will feel and live after the victory, we do little for this here and now, especially in the context of mental health. In this article, I will talk more about the syndrome of deferred life, its exacerbation during the war, and what you can do for yourself today, and this will not make the desire for victory any less strong or sincere.

In simple terms, the syndrome of postponed life is when we strive for a good life and happiness in the future, and we perceive the here and now as a time that needs to be experienced, to wait, because it seems to have no reason (or rather, internal permission) for happiness, positive experience and emotions. Often, this expectation is associated with a great goal, a grandiose dream, or a classic scenario of «successful success» that a person has not yet achieved and is usually still quite far away. In other words, the syndrome of postponed life is not about cases when we tell ourselves that «it will be better someday», but about the fact that we can feel happy only if we achieve our goals and only in the future, that happiness here and now is impossible a priori, because we are not yet educated enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, have not yet built a business empire or created that ideal family, and therefore happiness is out of the question. In the context of war, phrases such as «no time for that», «no time for that», «how can you...», etc. usually work.

In the present, emotions seem to be taboo - they are either inappropriate to feel now, or there are not enough good reasons for them, or we do not «deserve» them enough, or the contact with ourselves in general and with our bodies in particular is so weak that the only way to feel alive is to dream and squeeze the «maximum» out of these dreams. For example, not just to see yourself in your dreams as a company director, but as the owner of the most successful cluster, not just to have good relationships that bring you happiness You should be the owner of the ideal that modern films portray and that everyone will envy, or it should be not just a happy family, but a perfect husband, a prodigy child, the coolest car and an impeccable house with a dog and the most exquisite lawn in the whole neighbourhood.

The question is not that you can't want it, but whether it is really what will make you happy in reality, and that the more unattainable and grandiose such dreams feel and the more time is spent in such dreams, the more a person will devalue what they have now. When people return to reality, they usually fall into routine or sad thoughts, as if to «wait it out», to live faster, before the desires and goals of the dreamed future become reality. In practice, these desires may even be quite unrealistic and therefore impossible to achieve, so that the postponed life takes root in the person's reality and captures them for months, years, or even decades.